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gettingup [2006/05/26 14:55] marcus |
gettingup [2010/01/18 15:45] (Actual) |
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| servant comes in. 'It is very cold this morning, is it not?' - 'Very cold, Sir.' - 'Very cold | servant comes in. 'It is very cold this morning, is it not?' - 'Very cold, Sir.' - 'Very cold | ||
| indeed, isn't it?' - 'Very cold indeed, Sir.' - 'More than usually so, isn't it, even for this weather' (Here the servant's wit and good-nature are put to a considerable test, and the inquirer lies on thorns for the answer.) 'Why, Sir... I think it //is//.' (Good creature! There is no a better, or more truth-telling servant going.) 'I must rise, however, - get me some warm water.' - Here comes a fine interval between the departure of the servant and the arrival of the hot water; during which, of course, it is of 'no use' to get up. The hot water comes. 'Is it quite hot?' - 'Yes, Sir.' - 'Perhaps too hot for shaving: I must wait a little?' - 'No, Sir; it will just do.' (There is an over-nice propriety sometimes, an officious zeal of virtue, a little troublesome.) 'Oh - the shirt - you must air my clean shirt; - linen gets very damp this weather.' - 'Yes, Sir.' Here another delicious five minutes. A knock at the doors. 'Oh, the shirt - very well. My stockings - I think the stockings had better be aired too.' - 'Very well, Sir.' - Here another interval. At length | indeed, isn't it?' - 'Very cold indeed, Sir.' - 'More than usually so, isn't it, even for this weather' (Here the servant's wit and good-nature are put to a considerable test, and the inquirer lies on thorns for the answer.) 'Why, Sir... I think it //is//.' (Good creature! There is no a better, or more truth-telling servant going.) 'I must rise, however, - get me some warm water.' - Here comes a fine interval between the departure of the servant and the arrival of the hot water; during which, of course, it is of 'no use' to get up. The hot water comes. 'Is it quite hot?' - 'Yes, Sir.' - 'Perhaps too hot for shaving: I must wait a little?' - 'No, Sir; it will just do.' (There is an over-nice propriety sometimes, an officious zeal of virtue, a little troublesome.) 'Oh - the shirt - you must air my clean shirt; - linen gets very damp this weather.' - 'Yes, Sir.' Here another delicious five minutes. A knock at the doors. 'Oh, the shirt - very well. My stockings - I think the stockings had better be aired too.' - 'Very well, Sir.' - Here another interval. At length | ||
| - | everything is ready, except myself. I now, continues our incumbent (a happy word, by the bye, for a country vicar) - I now cannot help thinking a good deal - who can? - upon the unnecessary and villainous custom of shaving: it is a thing so unmaly (here I nestle closer) - so effeminate (here I recoil from an unlucky step into the colder part of the bed). - No wonder that the Queen of France took part with the rebels against the degenerate King, her husband, who first affronted her smooth visage with a face like her own. The Emperor Julian never showed the luxurianxy of his genius to better advantage than in reviving the flowing beard. Look at Cardinal Bembo's picture - at Michael Angelo's - at Titian's - at Shakespeare's - at Fletcher's - at Spenser's - at Chaucer's - at Alfred's - at Plato's - I could name a great man for every tick of my watch. - Look at the Turks, a grave and otiose people. - Think of Haroun al Raschid and Bedridden Hassan. - Think of Wortley Montagu, the worthy son of his mother, a man above the prejudice of his time. - Look at the Persian | + | everything is ready, except myself. I now, continues our incumbent (a happy word, by the bye, for a country vicar) - I now cannot help thinking a good deal - who can? - upon the unnecessary and villainous custom of shaving: it is a thing so unmanly (here I nestle closer) - so effeminate (here I recoil from an unlucky step into the colder part of the bed). - No wonder that the Queen of France took part with the rebels against the degenerate King, her husband, who first affronted her smooth visage with a face like her own. The Emperor Julian never showed the luxuriany of his genius to better advantage than in reviving the flowing beard. Look at Cardinal Bembo's picture - at Michael Angelo's - at Titian's - at Shakespeare's - at Fletcher's - at Spenser's - at Chaucer's - at Alfred's - at Plato's - I could name a great man for every tick of my watch. - Look at the Turks, a grave and otiose people. - Think of Haroun al Raschid and Bedridden Hassan. - Think of Wortley Montagu, the worthy son of his mother, a man above the prejudice of his time. - Look at the Persian |
| gentlemen, whom one is ashamed of meeting about the suburbs, their dress and appearance are so much finer than our own. - Lastly, think of the razor itself - how totally opposed to every sensation of bed - how cold, how edgy, how hard! how utterly different from anything like the warm and circling amplitude, which | gentlemen, whom one is ashamed of meeting about the suburbs, their dress and appearance are so much finer than our own. - Lastly, think of the razor itself - how totally opposed to every sensation of bed - how cold, how edgy, how hard! how utterly different from anything like the warm and circling amplitude, which | ||
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| best: and whether Holborn is the handsomest street in London. | best: and whether Holborn is the handsomest street in London. | ||
| - | We only know of one confounding, not to say confounded argument, fit to overturn the huge luxury, the 'enormous bliss' - of the vice in question. A lier in bed may be allowed to profess a disinterested indifference for his health or longevity; but while he is showing the reasonableness of consulting his own or one person's comfort, he must admit the proportionate claim of more than one; and the best way to deal with him is this, especially for a lady; for we earnestly recommend the use of that sex on such occasions, of not somewhat over-persuasive; since extremes have an awkward knack of meeting. First then, admit all the ingeniousness of what he says, telling him that the ban has been deprived of an excellent lawyer. Then look at him in the most good-natured manner in the world, with a mixture of assent and appeal in your countenance, and tell him that you are waiting breakfast for him; that you never like to breakfast without him; that you really want it too; that the servants want theirs; that you shall not know how to get the house in order, unless he rises; and that you are sure he would do things twenty times worse, even than getting out of his warm bed, to put them all into good humour and a state of comfort. Then, after having said this, throw in the comparatively indifferent matter, to him, about his health; that the sight of his illness makes more peaple suffer than one; but that if, nevertheless, he really does feel so very sleepy and so very much refreshed by - Yet stay; we hardly know whether the frailty of a - Yes, yes; say that too, especially if you say it with sincerity; for if the weakness of human nature on the one hand and the vis inertiae on the other, should lead him to take advantage of it once or twice, good-humour and sincerity form an irresistible junction at last; and are still better and warmer things than pillows and blankets. | + | We only know of one confounding, not to say confounded argument, fit to overturn the huge luxury, the 'enormous bliss' - of the vice in question. A lier in bed may be allowed to profess a disinterested indifference for his health or longevity; but while he is showing the reasonableness of consulting his own or one person's comfort, he must admit the proportionate claim of more than one; and the best way to deal with him is this, especially for a lady; for we earnestly recommend the use of that sex on such occasions, of not somewhat over-persuasive; since extremes have an awkward knack of meeting. First then, admit all the ingeniousness of what he says, telling him that the ban has been deprived of an excellent lawyer. Then look at him in the most good-natured manner in the world, with a mixture of assent and appeal in your countenance, and tell him that you are waiting breakfast for him; that you never like to breakfast without him; that you really want it too; that the servants want theirs; that you shall not know how to get the house in order, unless he rises; and that you are sure he would do things twenty times worse, even than getting out of his warm bed, to put them all into good humour and a state of comfort. Then, after having said this, throw in the comparatively indifferent matter, to him, about his health; that the sight of his illness makes more people suffer than one; but that if, nevertheless, he really does feel so very sleepy and so very much refreshed by - Yet stay; we hardly know whether the frailty of a - Yes, yes; say that too, especially if you say it with sincerity; for if the weakness of human nature on the one hand and the vis inertiae on the other, should lead him to take advantage of it once or twice, good-humour and sincerity form an irresistible junction at last; and are still better and warmer things than pillows and blankets. |
| Other little helps of appeal may be thrown in, as occasion requires. You may tell a lover, for instance, that lying in bed makes people corpulent; a father, that you wish him to complete the fine manly example he sets his children; a lady, that she will injure her bloom or her shape, which M. or W. admires so much; and a student or artist, that he is always so glad to have done a good day's work, in his best manner. | Other little helps of appeal may be thrown in, as occasion requires. You may tell a lover, for instance, that lying in bed makes people corpulent; a father, that you wish him to complete the fine manly example he sets his children; a lady, that she will injure her bloom or her shape, which M. or W. admires so much; and a student or artist, that he is always so glad to have done a good day's work, in his best manner. | ||
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| //Reader//. And pray, Mr Indicator, how do //you// behave yourself in this respect?\\ | //Reader//. And pray, Mr Indicator, how do //you// behave yourself in this respect?\\ | ||
| //Indic//. Oh, Madam, perfectly, of course; like all advisers.\\ | //Indic//. Oh, Madam, perfectly, of course; like all advisers.\\ | ||
| - | //Reader//. Nay, I allow that your mode of argument does not look quite so suspicious as the old way of sermonizing and severity, but I have my doubts, especially from that laugh of yours. If I should look in to-morrow morning -\\ | + | //Reader//. Nay, I allow that your mode of argument does not look quite so suspicious as the old way of sermonizing and severity, but I have my doubts, especially from that laugh of yours. If I should look in to-morrow morning -\\ |
| //Indic//. Ah, Madam, the look in of a face like yours does anything with me. It shall fetch me up at nine, if you please - six, I meant to say. | //Indic//. Ah, Madam, the look in of a face like yours does anything with me. It shall fetch me up at nine, if you please - six, I meant to say. | ||
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